I’m trying to use the services of Dignitas, the Swiss suicide clinic, to end my life. They’ve asked me to get my medical records so a Swiss doctor can see if I’ve received treatment.
The mental health services i deal with are blocking my access to my records. They believe I must be kept alive at any cost and by any means.
They can resort to imprisonment to stop me from using the assisted suicide service available in Switzerland and now other countries too. Swiss psychiatrists have an enlightened view about human rights but this country’s psychiatrists do not care about human rights.
The idea that imprisonment is in any way appropriate is laughable but for the horror of being imprisoned for wanting to die. It is the height of cruelty to deny freedom as a means to keep me alive.
The mental health services I deal with have been abject failures at making me want to live. I’ve had different professionals try different treatment for over a decade but they have failed. They have used coercion in the past and it has failed to make me want to live.
The state of the treatment of suicidal people in this country is so bad it is evil. Some people might find treatment works or imprisonment works for them but it doesn’t work for me. I have wanted to die for a long time and it has been a consistent need whereas wanting to live is an unusual mental state for me.
My choice to die is a rational choice which has not been fulfilled. I am still alive even though I have not wanted to live anymore for years. I have made attempts and I have been imprisonment because of these attempts.
Why should I fear imprisonment when I go to die? It won’t make things better but it will be traumatic and distressing because imprisonment is punishment. I will be away from my comforts and have to comply with the regime in a psychiatric ward. I will trapped with other people who are in various states of crisis and are made more distressed by their imprisonment.
I will just be kept alive by psychiatric imprisonment. I will be punished for wanting to die as if my life wasn’t bad enough and living while wanting to die wasn’t punishing enough. I will have more despair and distress when incarcerated in a psychiatric ward. I will still want to die.
None of that matters to the mental health services I use. Does it matter to you?