Monthly Archives: Feb 2016

Isn’t it just sensitive people who can’t handle life who want to die?

I’m finding this question difficult to answer and spin like I usually do. My thoughts are that sensitivity has correlates with creativity and is a valuable human trait. I was a sensitive child brought up by a parents who wanted me to be tough so my intuitive response is clouded by opposing forces. Part of me believes there are people who are so tough they would never break inside and consider killing themselves. My grandfather was one of those tough bastards. I don’t think they should make the world though. I think most people would become suicidal if massive adversity wrecked their life and made them suffer beyond their threshold of resilience. At the same time there are some people with such low resilience that they’re all but predestined to want to die at some point and this is caused by source of suffering which most people can bear without seriously contemplating suicide to escape the pain.

I could argue with a comparison between the lack of requirement for physical toughness as potentially analogous to a future society’s lack of requirement of mental toughness. After all, people today suffer very little physical pain. People now would be considered too weak by their ancestors in the past. I just don’t like the comparison between physicality and mentality which is at the root of the crime of psychiatry.

I think the best way to answer it is to state something which deserves more explanation than I’m going to bother with. The world should be made for the weak. Society should be constructed around the sensitive rather than resilient. A society built around the expectation that everyone can survive what the tough can survive is a failure. In this world those who are very sensitive will suffer in the extreme but the vast majority of the populous will also suffer. In a society built around the expectation of weakness the very sensitive types suffer much less and the majority suffer barely at all. Everyone benefits from less suffering.

In many ways this last answer resonates with my perspective on things like stupidly and intelligence. Intelligent people usually have much more success in life and are better of in general whereas the stupid loose out. Part of this is because life is unnecessarily complicated from consumer culture to the ever forward progress of technology. If it was designed around the needs of stupid people then everyone would benefit from a simpler life.

The needs of the few can be aligned with the needs of the many. If the aim was to prevent the excessive harms felt most by sensitive people then the masses are gifted with less suffering. Expecting toughness means there’ll be more pain felt by the masses.  If modern life which is meant for the tough there is more cruelty but if it was made for the weak there’d be less.


Torture, despair, hopelessness, powerlessness, suffering and suicide (you can always stop suffering)

I believe that everyone who wants to die is like that because they’ve experienced torture. It is a unique torture which everyone feels differently but it is torture.

What’s conventionally recognised as torture is the use of extreme pain to achieve an objective. It can be done to punish the victim or to get them to do something they don’t want to do. It works by creating a level of pain extreme enough that the victim would do anything to end it. Though not explicitly an objective torturers aim to create the psychological state which suicidal individuals face.

Victims of conventional torture and of the unintentional torture in daily living both face despair and hopelessness. They’re powerless change the suffering and unable to stop the torture which destroys their will to live. They want to escape it because they can’t stop it and it is too terrible for them to endure. Intentional torture requires the victim does what their torturer wants for the torture to stop unless the torture is meant to be punishment. The torture in daily life is not so easily stopped.

Both intended torture and torture in the wild create a state which is common in the desperation it causes in a suffering conscious mind. There is something happening which the victim’s conscious can’t endure or live through. Those tortured in the wild of modern society and culture at least have one solution which should always be available. They can choose suicide.

Suicide is a good thing because it solves what the desperate and despairing need solved. The unintentional harms can’t be stopped nor undone but suicide is there as a final solution to end all the harm.

Human rights laws prohibit intentional torture though of course it still happens. Yet no laws protect suicide victims from the unintentional torture in modern life. This is why legalising assisted suicide is so important as are a wide range of activities to prevent the unintentional torture which creates the majority of suicides.

At the moment the unintentional torture is compounded by the efforts of the anti suicide movement which seeks to prevent suicide by any means necessary. This creates more suffering and I think they know it does but don’t care because they’re not the ones suffering through the hopelessness, powerlessness and despair. If they don’t know then they should have nothing to do with suicide policy because their ignorance extends the torture and forces bad deaths for those who have had their will to live destroyed by unintentional torture.

Death is to be avoided but suicide means fates worse than death can be avoided. The source of the torture can be a wide range of things. It’s highly personal in this respect. Nonetheless it is universally terrible suffering and suicide is the only solution which guarantees the end of it. The cost is the loss of life but the life is what the individual owns and it’s their free choice to end their suffering even if it costs their existence.

The right to choose one’s death is built upon the trust given to free individuals in all matters in life. People are free to choose and free to make mistakes. It is also based on an understanding of conscious existence which respects the diversity of conscious suffering. It is grounded in the desire to end suffering at any cost rather than to extend life at any cost. It is based in the principles of human autonomy and personal liberty which are the basis of the existing human rights framework.

It will cause more deaths but it will free so many victims from the unlimited harms which can’t be stopped, endured or escaped by any other means. It defines a protocol of personal power to choose to end their pain. It is a fact of life that some people will want to die. They shouldn’t be forced to endure what they’d rather die to escape but this is what the anti suicide movement wants them to do.

No man need fear evil as long as they have free choice about how and when they die.

Have you got enough from my torture?

This is a question aimed at the anti suicide movement and others of my monsters. Their victories assure that I and other victims of their success will continue to face the torture which makes the suicidal want to die.

Does it make you happy to cause more profound suffering or are you satisfied enough by being acknowledged as right by the fact that your belief is law? I don’t know because I can never understand you.

There’s already so much misery in this world and in my life. Why would you add to it? I think it’s because you have a cruel nature. Your ethics add to my suffering and deny me the pursuit of my freedom.

No life is free from misery but some lives are scarred by countless miseries and despair. Some know what it’s like to live without hope and to contribute to hopelessness is surely a sin? There are shades of hopelessness but how can you contribute to any of it? You do contribute to the hopelessness though. Of that I’m certain and you should be too.

I need angels but all you are are monsters. The anti suicide movement does not fight to prevent the suffering which causes suicide pain. You fight to prolong the pain and worsen the hopelessness. You create despair and denigrate my decision to die by considering it worthless. You think no freedom should be given to me to die well.

I can not draw a line against the excessive harms in my life. Yet this freedom and power is truly what the anti suicide establishment should be working towards. Instead you focus on getting what you want and with no regard for preventing suffering. In fact your victories only add to my suffering.

And so I hate you. I’m certain about this and I think you are too by now. I hope you want to die one day and then you face what I’m going through.

You can’t ruin my life once I’m dead. If you’re anti suicide then you stop the ruination before it happens. You might fail. I assume that’s why you didn’t bother to prevent the ruination of life like a good anti suicide movement would.

You can ruin my life and ruin my death

This is the suicide system today. This is what it achieves, allows and creates.

My life can be ruined. There’s nothing to prevent this and in my life this objective is an active pursuit to reach a desirable outcome.

Obviously I wouldn’t want my life to be ruined as it has been. Thankfully there’s a choice I can make to end it…except you would ruin this too to force me to live a life you ruined.

I have some blame in this outcome of course but I don’t feel it now. Now I choose my death as I have done for a long time. You could give me a loaded gun to kill myself with but you don’t have mercy. Instead you ruin my death too.

My life can be ruined and my death can be ruined. There’s nothing to stop you so you ruin everything.

You want me to live but I want to die?

What if I don’t die? It would be better for you.

I’m sure there’s lots of things you wish I was and was like. The feeling is mutual.

But you are what are and I am what I am. You would create hell and I would want to end it. You would create torture and I would want it ended. We are divided by a chasm.

I want to die but there’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve tried and failed. There’s just death. Now I regret my failures in my suicide attempts.

You want me to suffer.

You’re just depressed. That’s why you want to die.

This simple statement is not something I believe in at all. I don’t think there’s any truth in the title of this post but it is a commonly held belief amongst those who oppose the right to choose one’s death.

It is a truth wrapped around the rotten kernel of the biomedical model of mental health. This says misery is a disease of the brain and it is irrational. This point of view denigrates the experience of misery by calling it depression. This creates the false belief that it’s “just” depression and changes how misery is understood. The empathy sense of empathy is distorted by calling misery a disease and while calling it an illness does evoke sympathy it also detracts from the validity and rational sense of depressed individuals. The biomedical model of mental health is also behind the use of imprisonment and other practices which deprive the liberty of suicidal individuals.

This commonly held false belief about depression being an illness takes away the validity of the suicide pain of people diagnosed as mentally ill. I’ve described how absurd this is in a previous post. It’s what’s behind the difference between the assisted dying and assisted suicide movements. The former deals exclusively in euthanasia for the terminally ill but not for any other reason.

This false belief about misery deflects the sense of rationality away from those who want to die because of psychological suffering. The anti suicide lobby use this fallacy to block all attempts at legalising euthanasia because weaker forms of choice in death (like assisted dying) could lead to the mentally ill becoming able to choose to assisted suicide.

This is inherent to the biomedical paradigm of mental health because it tarnishes patients sense of rationality. Their decisions can be overridden and they couldn’t be making a rational choice to die because it’s part of their illness. The specious way of thinking about misery as mental illness stops empathy and strips rationality.

Misery however is a rational response in a cruel and harsh world. Wanting to escape from it is rational and suicide is also a rational choice. It is a rational choice for the terminally ill and it’s just as rational for those suffering from other sorts of suicide pain. Misery is a severe form of suffering be it by physical or mental causes. Feeling suicidal for whatever reason is a terrible way to feel. The injustice and cruelty of being forced to live or else choose a poor quality suicide method is the same severity for all suicidal individuals.

It is inhumane to dismiss the suffering in life as the product of a brain disease and it is fundamentally dehumanising. Life is shit and then you want to die. Misery is severe suffering and it should not be dismissed as being irrational. Suicide is a common consequence of misery and it’s a rational choice. It deserves empathy, not dehumanising.