This is a fairly basic failure. It stems from the abundant evil in all people which manifests in the creation of my suicide pain. It’s because you’re the vermin end of the spectrum of conscious beings.
This is about the absence of protections. There is no shelter for me. Nothing protects me.
In the time of neanderthals they didn’t need protection from the rain let alone protection of their will to live. But I needed to be protected from suicide pain. Nothing was there though. Not for me.
It’s not that my tormentors risked my suicide. They and you sought it. I was and am tormented by people who want me to suffer suicide pain.
The evil this represents is a great reason to die because suicide is the ultimate protection from the evils of man. Suicide arrests the evil when nothing else can. My species is evil and my life has been cursed with their unmitigated evil. Nothing will stop my tormentors from doing what they do best. But my death certainly will.
I have no shelter from the rain. You made sure of it.