It could be worse. I could still be alive.

I hate you who made this true.


5 thoughts on “It could be worse. I could still be alive.

  1. The unknown most often brings pain. Death, ultimately, is a complete unknown. While life is shitty, it is somewhat known. That knowledge grants us control, that control grants us the ability to generate happiness.

    Perhaps, living long enough, we will gain enough control to permanently ensure that happiness. Perhaps. Either way, pain comes and goes. Overcoming it grants more control. G’luck


    1. You’re right. Absolutely right.

      Except about the unknown being the most often cause of pain. Your statement is utterly empty. It’s not what’s unknown which makes me want to die. The knowing gives me more reasons to die.

      Death isn’t an unknown. What happens after is. My belief isn’t knowledge of course and it’s based on sense rather than knowledge. The risk, the unknown, is whether my suffering will continue by God’s choice. I’ve already been punished enough. without having done the crime I’ve done the crime. I’ve been pre punished by humanity so I believe that God won’t punish me the way you do.

      Knowledge doesn’t create control. It’s power. Given how evil the human race is it’s fear which is the source power but I can’t make you fear the consequences of your deliberate attempts to make me want to die and keep me suffering.

      Does the knowledge that you’re evil give you more control? You must know that you’re evil already and this gave you the power to control my life to make it hell. You’re right.


    2. Do you know that personal freedom is the right thing? So much tyranny has happened in the past because the victims didn’t know that their personal freedom and equality was essential to them. Take the slaves in America before their emancipation. They didn’t know the truth and they suffered. It wasn’t the unknown which caused their suffering but it stopped them from fighting for their freedom and equality.

      Of course even if they knew they didn’t have any power. They couldn’t guarantee their happiness in any way. They needed powerful white skinned people to aid their fight for freedom and equality.

      Do you understand the knowledge I’ve tried to impart to you throughout this blog? Obviously not because you say that pain comes and goes. Give me the power to show you pain and I’d never stop hurting you. You need the knowledge that some pain is too much to bear and some pain doesn’t stop.

      When you talk about control then understand the control which is a basic requirement of conscious existence. It is the power to cease suffering.

      Of course you simply don’t have enough experience of suffering. I’d love to show you just so you know full well what suicidal suffering feels like. I think I’d be a great teacher if I had this power…

      Liked by 1 person

  2. There’s a big difference between talking to someone, and talking to yourself. I was young once too, and I was also mildly schizophrenic. So, I don’t mind.

    I do, however, have limits on my time. So, what I will do is this: go to my blog. You’ll find some of the information relating to my personal philosophies, which may help you.

    But, I’m afraid I’m otherwise engaged. Notable is the second section of the homepage, as well as the link titled “paradigm / philosophy”. Within that link, you’ll especially enjoy the post titled “The State of Humanity”.

    I’ll be putting up more of my philosophy in time. Good luck, and try to spend your freetime completely inactive – very helpful for the mind.


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