Ugh…another year has gone by and I’ve once again failed to protect myself by killing myself 

If I’d killed myself I’d be freed from more unbearable suffering and more torture.

Suicide is the only thing that can save me from unbearable suffering. It’s the only thing which would have saved me from going through so much unbearable suffering. 

If I’d succeeded a long time ago I’d have saved myself. It’s the only way. 

This is the truth of my life.