I just want to die. On countless days and months and years this is what I’ve wanted and needed. I have failed myself by failing to kill myself and my failed attempts have proven that I’m better off dead because of how much more I suffered because I lived. Every failed suicide attempt has a cost in pain. The pain I suffer because I’ve lived instead of died. The pain is constant. It takes many forms but I can bear no more. The saddest thing is that no one cares about this. No one cares that I can bear no more. That’s why suicide is so good. OF COURSE I NEED TO DIE. I have always needed to die because of the pain I suffer if I live. It is too much to bear but no one but me carss

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